Chris Bish~

If a mouse fails to operate, or should perform erratically, it may be in need of ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should be attempted by trained personnel only. Before ordering, determine the type of mouse balls required by examining the underside of each mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ, depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method, and domestic balls by the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive, however, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each service technician has a pair of balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction, and that any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary functional items.

I know Twilight Princess looks great and all but don’t you think this takes it too far?

An Irsishman, Paddy, and Englishman, John, and a Scotsman, Jock, walk into a forest. Suddenly, goblins jump out and take themn captive. Days later, the chief goblin says "You can go free if you find 100 items of the same fruit." So Paddy, John and Jock all set off into the woods. Soon, Jock comes back with 100 blackberries. He shows the chief goblin, who says "you can go free if you shove them all up your ass without laughing. So, after a short protest, Jock does it, just managing not to laugh. Then John comes back with 100 cherries. The chief goblin says the same thing and John bursts out laughing. "What’s so funny?" Jock asks.
John replies "I just saw Paddy collecting pineapples!"

I apologize to any Irish people on visiting my site, but it is a classic. =P

   Its a band at a consert i did in science hehe

1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

3. Why cant woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my names Bob. Im an alcoholic"?

5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think ill squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?